Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Definition of "Politician"


Effeminate middle aged men with faces like a planks of wood, always with a twisted grin.


They piss on your lawn, put a gun to your face, and ask for 25% of your money, then move on to the neighbor's.


All day they call the house to say "better me do this than someone else". They implement a new policy, ten television channels must be dedicated to them.


After a night of sleep, the pricks show up in the morning and steal your newspaper, leaving only advertisements.


One politician ask your daughter if she wants a job, making you think "Maybe he's not such a bad guy". Three months later she comes back broke and pregnant, but she refers to herself as an intern.


You get mad, want to kill the bastards, but when you go to confront the politicians one waves his hand and says "none of that happened".


He is a masterful orator, so you go home and forget about it.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Noise




Six in the morning, deep into the REM stages of slumber.
Sixteen paws, each holding four pointed, thick nails loudly ticking and tacking against the constantly creaking wood floor directly above.


For dogs this is the best time to romp around. Wood antiques, loose window panes, and random metal trinkets hanging from rusted nails in drywall clamor loudly.
A screeching voice pierces the air every fifteen minutes, "STOP!"
What is with all the fucking noise? Too many goddamn dogs in the house.


Eight AM, the phone rings...ignore. The phone rings again...ignore. It rings once more, plastic cracks against a concrete basement wall then hits the floor.


Two PM, loud stomping shakes the ceiling, two voices speak for a few seconds then loudly scream at one another. The words are pointless, suffocated by the noise.
A car door shuts, peeling tires squeal.


Five PM, the door slams, a solo voice deeply growls into the phone. A grunting soliloquy of four-letter words shoots through bone then trails off. The door slams again.


How can anyone think with all the noise?


Seven PM, Outside for a cigarette to calm the nerves. The sunset is magnificent, deep red and blue skies greet sparkling darkness.
The scene is interrupted by a coach's whistle.


"Don't ever do that again!" He hollers to an eleven year old, plastic pads crash over and over.


Being told what to do loses effectiveness with age, but the noise will always strike a nerve. Ask the hypocrite middle-aged neighbor, calling the police on teens with a house to themselves on Friday night.


The noise destroys concentration, boils the blood, it can cause madness.
The only thing worse than the noise, is no noise at all.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Henry's Day



Henry’s alarm clock buzzed loudly, gradually increasing volume with every passing second, to remind him every minute asleep was a minute lost. He woke promptly, but only sensed darkness. The continued tradition of breakfast before dawn followed as his wife Maggie readied herself for work. For years during these times Henry mapped out the day; neighbors to visit, properties to fix, family members to check on. Well over a decade of retirement, and Henry refused to relax, life lacked lethargy and so did Henry.

“I’m off to the hospital” Maggie’s southern draw echoed, as she kissed Henry on the cheek.

Bells above jingled as she slammed the insulated door Henry built years before. Moments later, Henry heard the door of a new model SUV shut and drive off. Annoyed by the sudden silence, Henry guided himself to the small kitchen television, and turned to the news. He repeatedly dipped a cold spoon into a cereal bowl Maggie poured, then paused with the spoon mid-air.

“The DOW is down even further today, which make us wonder...when is this going to end?” The uppity newscaster announced.

Henry shook his head, a blurry sunrise rested in his left peripheral. He labored for decades as a carpenter and as manager of a lawn-mower company, only to see his life savings sucked dry from economic collapse and from the surgeries. At twelve he lost most sight in the left eye, and at seventy-five he lost all sight in the right. Expensive doctors told Henry he may see again, so every three months after the surgery he took the pricey injections, worked hard on rehab exercises, and stayed determined. The surgery, exercises, and determination never brought back clear vision. Henry muted the television.

Henry was never a man of prayer, he saw himself as a practical man. He became even more practical after witnessing the deterioration and death of his first wife...Schizophrenia. After her death, the lawn-mower company offered him a new position, one in South Carolina. The carpentry trade was too rugged for a man of his age, so he took the position. It was a chance to leave behind pains of loss, a way to keep working and living without distracting emotion. Henry’s son, Henry Jr. followed in Dad’s footsteps, and became a formidable carpenter back in his home state of Ohio through the years apart.

Henry thought about his son, both wives, and his four daughters over breakfast. Every few weeks he would call and ask how weather was up North (it tended to be warm in the Summer and cold in the Winter) The short period of reflection and stagnation turned to frustration, so Henry walked outside. The stroll became a struggle for Henry; down two flights of stairs, across a steep lawn, and to the dock, where a pontoon and speed boat rocked in crisp lake waves. Dry air told Henry the boats would soon need raised from the lake. For a few moments, Henry didn’t think about anything; wind played the water below, wood clanked against rock, and every few moments a Gar’s fin splashed in the air as it preyed on bluegill below. Soon the noises sounded too familiar, boring Henry into another task- retrieving the mail.

With his head cocked to the right Henry slowly shuffled away from the lake and to the front yard, bracing himself against every tree and landmark on the way. Dead pine needles cushioned thick crab grass and clay beneath him. Inside the old black mailbox a thick stack of magazines, letters, bills, and advertisements filled the space.

“Damnit” Henry spat allowed, pulling a toothpick from his pocket to chew on, a way to calm nerves after quitting chewing tobacco.

Henry forgot to bring outgoing mail, knowing he would later retrace his footsteps, only taking time away from the day’s other tasks. He closed the box and walked to the front door.Once inside, Henry passed a computer he never used and a keyboard he never played in a room he never occupied in route to the kitchen. He slapped the mail onto the kitchen table, then grabbed a pen, checkbook, and large magnifier from a miniature basket on the table. Reading every letter and paper received became the day’s most time consuming task. He wrote a check and set it aside for Maggie’s review, then continued until he came across a letter concerning his grandson.

“The amount below is delinquent” The letter read.

Henry shook his head in disgust. He never went to college, yet he owned two cars, a truck, a lake-house, three boats, a jet ski, an arsenal of guns, and four wheeler, all in cash, and all from hard work. Years before he co-signed a student loan for his grandson. Henry Jr. wanted to name the grandson Henry III, but Henry Jr.’s ex named him Dustin, citing Henry Jr.’s drug and physical abuse as reasons Henry didn’t deserve the freedom. Dustin was the first of his mother and father’s family to attend a big University, and now the bastard had trouble paying his debts.

Every few months a letter would arrive at Henry’s house in regards to the loan, but Dustin always gave excuses. He was living in a friend’s closet, couldn’t find a job, had been laid off, he simply couldn’t afford his school debt, which he compared to a mortgage. Henry never missed a payment on anything, and didn’t understand how anyone could. Dustin’s mother didn’t work for years as she raised Dustin’s brothers, Henry assumed the same lethargy moved to Dustin.

Henry hadn’t seen Dustin in years. Henry Jr. moved to South Carolina at one point, and Dustin lived back North with his other family. He visited every summer before college, sometimes staying for weeks, the two fished, drank beers, and worked alongside one another on Henry’s properties. In high school Dustin worked at Henry’s favorite local restaurant back in Ohio. Henry offered to pay for the business and franchising rights, so Dustin would run the business. The fifteen year old Dustin declined, saying he wanted to stay in school and with his brothers. Though he was often disappointed, Henry missed Dustin.

Henry guided himself along the kitchen table into the living room, where dusty pictures of a young, sixty-year old Henry sat atop a fireplace in the living room, below a large mouth bass mounted on the wall. Henry sat comfortably in his large recliner next to the phone, feeling his way around the wide key pad to call Dustin and remind him of his obligations. The phone rang, but Dustin never answered. It was eight in the morning, so Henry called again, hoping to wake Dustin up before work, or to simply wake him from unemployment, Henry never knew what Dustin was up to.

On the other side of the ringing Dustin looked at the incoming calls and ignored them. He was broke, homeless and far in debt from school, but knew none of this mattered to his grandfather, all that mattered was a payment which was late. Dustin remembered times when Henry called him every few weeks to ask about the weather or sent a birthday card which always arrived on the right day. Recently Dustin only received angry letters from Henry, or condescending phone messages about “all that education”. He once looked up to his grandfather, but now only wanted to be left alone. After years of a broken and awkward relationship with his father, Dustin only felt tied to the family through his grandfather, but he no longer felt that connection after the nasty called and letters.

“That makes me so damn hot in the collar” Henry shouted to himself, hanging up the phone.

He rested for a few moments in the recliner, seething from the lack of respect and gratefulness. In hopes to appease his feelings he called his son Henry Jr., only to hear more ringing with no answer. Henry Jr. lived in Ohio with his new wife but traveled the country, working on different building contracts from state to state. Henry again hung up the phone and shook his head. The morning heated as it neared noon. Henry sat in darkness, tired of the taunting nature of a blurred son in the corner of his eye.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A Pint of Humanity



Daggers of Sun attempted to pierce the thick fog, crashing into overbearing molecules. The mixture spread across open land in one cloud of dim light. Morning dew caused grass to glisten, illuminating the vast hillside region where pockets of men anxiously awaited battle in scattered troughs. The divided fractions of fragile creatures bickered and plotted without knowledge of simultaneous bickering and plotting among multiple other groups of hill folk, adding volume to buckets of plausible and possible outcomes.

Deep, hardened voices of un-worried warriors carried meters into the atmosphere, transforming into high pitched squeaks squelched by miles of mist. While separate but equal sized specks of humanity contemplated issues such as “victory” or “tactics”, moist air managed to easily evaporate without notice or resistance. Further in the distance condensation sat atop strawberry fields, which patiently anticipated a plucking.

Humid heat dominated the aging day as soldiers’ stomachs saturated pan fried breakfasts, unfamiliar aromas attracted the attention of nearby animals though unable to identify origins of the scents. Restless rallies of the random rowdies signified growing tension inside the battalions, leaders enticed followers who left behind the lethargic and marched up their respective hills.

The clans converged, carrying flags of different creatures and creative symbols. Up close, blood splattered, bodies mangled, and men turned into beasts; animals walked by nervously, aware of the unnatural culmination of confrontation between their masters. Far away, other events occurred and passed, ignorant of the brutal bravery and blatant savageness. The Sun rose alongside mounting violence, then fell as forces waned and lives vanished.

Only the most resilient of fighters survived in each army, but every weapon emptied of bullets. The remaining yelled in efforts to persuade one another. Eloquent presentations morphed into “hmms” and rabbling, clashing words created one Neanderthal poem.

“Abortion! Abortion! Proportion, extortion, divorcing and war, greedy and poor! Money money money, money. Money.....money! Prison, drugs, regulation, hugs, left right, in hindsight. Taxes and faxes, rackets then rockets, pickets and pockets, politician, superstition! Science! Gods! distribution of Ipods! Media, propaganda, conspiracy, Miranda. Arrest, detest, constitution, prostitution!”

Night expanded and stars flickered in the dark, worlds and realities drifted by, unaware of time or rhyme. Imaginative creatures collided and collapsed in formations while crickets tweeted and chirped. The crickets were war survivors forming federal government, figuring who founded and who would lead, who could stay and who must leave. The insignificants slept soundly, their dreams appraised significance of the day.

Just as the sun came and went, the men would gather and the men would split. A great flood came and washed away the SOB’s, just like something defeating disease. The scene faded and shrunk, smaller and smaller into the unknown. Giant stars and clusters of mass grouped into tiny molecules and waves. The waves fluidly passed through the mind of a man. To the clashing specks of different ideologies and arguments, the man was God. To God, he was but a man, washing away cluttered thoughts of the day, vicious debates over cities and states, drowned with a pint and some laughs with his mates.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Know Your True Enemy



http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2010/08/15/nr.islamic.center.debate.cnn?hpt=Sbin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYvdBM3EHxk

These videos are more evidence of religious people and trained persuasive clowns pitting Americans against each other and attempting to rally others for what I think is their desire for one last ignorant religious or race battle. Using a Christian medium to interpret a different religion is almost as dangerous and isolating as formulating policy based on organized religious beliefs, especially those that parallel propaganda used for Christian Crusades in centuries past. Islam, Christianity, and Judaism all have blood on their hands. That is the reality.

I`m not siding with any religion, as in many Muslim media outlets Muslim superiority is being preached along with the call for a battle with Christianity. All I have seen in the media is a reoccurring theme of using illegal immigration debate, religion, race, and and natural disasters to cloud foreign policy and domestic monetary issues which we the people have no control over, but actually affect our day to day lives.

Pay attention to what`s going on between Israel and Iran right now, as it won`t reach the public nerve until it`s too late. Pay attention to the fact that almost half of the banker bailout money was given to foreign banks that have no interest in the American people, the other half given to domestic ones which also care not about the American people, and would spend large portions of our taxes to give higher ups raises and expensive vacations.

Instead of these issues getting repetitive attention, the issue of a mosque in New York takes the country by storm. Controversies like this benefit those who wish to pass legislation under our noses.

The military industrial complex of the US is gaining enemies of all walks of life across the world, yet we focus on our boogieman "Islam". Sadly, after NAFTA, our main industry is military weapons, which depend on war to survive. The real enemy of the United States people is the federal government, and both political parties, who are sucking all people dry of financial stability while pushing forward policies that don`t reflect the non-interventionist history and beliefs of most American citizens.

They do all this, while aggressively spreading fear among the population and stealing constitutional rights from both the people and states. Politics has overtaken policy. Dividing ourselves based on self identified differences makes this task easier. The media puts up a smokescreen to help put a curtain over the real evil being done to the people. Divide and conquer, make the masses feel they are "other" from one another, so that the important debates on our future are held behind closed doors. To be explained by a White House spokesperson who only knows the phrase "next question".

Both parties are guilty since the 80`s of ripping out our heart and foundation (industry) then shipping it overseas to benefit the top 1% of the population, American born CEO`S that spend most of their lives vacationing on foreign beaches. Tax breaks hit top people in the companies, but nothing trickles down to Americans, nor does it trickle down to the underpaid foreigners working these labor jobs for dirt.

This is where our attention and energy should be focused. Instead, a decade after 9/11, the emotional nerve that day created for us all is constantly struck by politicians and the media. The striking of this nerve blinds us over and over again, paralyzing our ability to look at other problems. I`m not in New York or Arizona. My state`s day to day battle is to bring production jobs back to this country. I believe this to be the battle most towns and cities across the country face.

The American worker and student is becoming less valued. Our job security is constantly at risk, often we no longer have pride in our jobs, but contempt for them. Because of pay, because bosses are degrading, because many jobs are life consuming or dead end.

I do not fear terrorism, Islam, or Al-Qaeda, none hold the ability to ever threaten the sovereignty or infrastructure of America outside of planning cowardly attacks on innocent civilians, with the objective of spreading fear.

I fear those who everyday work to strip us of our constitutional rights in the name of the War on Terror. I fear those who make it their agenda to take the 2nd amendment rights from responsible gun owners who wish to protect their property, family and country. I fear those who believe it is OK to place cameras on street corners in order to increase revenue from fines, or those who cut deals with private phone companies in order to expand domestic espionage, or give government contracts to already large companies so they can continue to expand and dominate our market instead of letting competition play on an even field.

I fear any man in a suit who believes it is duty to tell me and the rest of my people "it`s for your own good" without in depth explanation or facts. I fear any straight-faced TV personality that sucks emotion from war and makes the debate matter of fact, with an objective and target. With no plan other than to beat the war drum which will benefit large corporations more than the foreign country planned to attack or the American people.

I fear a president who believes it is OK to give Congress a few short hours to read through legislation with over 1,000 pages that takes hundreds of billions of dollars from tax-payers to bail out banks, so that they may hold the already struggling working class responsible for debts, hidden charges, and interest rates they cannot cover. Now with higher taxes.

We are being robbed and destroyed by those who are supposed to serve our best interests. We are becoming enslaved to corruption. We are being pitted against one another by others that harness our anger, to string us along like puppets. All in the name of a currency.

Our products and service are cheapening while the price for them rises. Our economy is based on swindling one another then having a good lawyer, instead of fair competition flourishing based on price, quality, or pride in the product. Both the private and public sector do everything to drain as much money as possible from those who work hard for their checks. Stealing currency, that the higher ups already stripped of having any physical value to back up.

While you find it harder to afford to live a regular life, or afford to treat yourself against a medical condition, or afford to bury a loved one, or harder to find a fulfilling job, or nice home to raise a family in, others are sitting on fortunes you cannot begin to comprehend, and are doing so on your dime, hard work, and suffering.

While your right to privacy is stripped, and increasing debt has reduced you to a shallow human being who`s only goals and decisions in life revolve around money, debates about Mexicans or Mosques are being raised, to channel our anger toward a race of people or a religion. Turning us into nationalist monsters instead of effectively informed citizens.

The joke is on you America, you have been Punk`d. This message has been brought to you by McDonald`s, now hurry up, eat it, become lethargic, and die, so the board can go to The Caribbean, and politicians can continue harmful policies because your fat ass is too lazy to pay attention, or actually want to make a change. Oh, and 25% of your paycheck is going to us, because if it doesn`t, a terrorist from a global organization with less than 300 members is more than likely going to blow YOU up on the way to Mcdonald`s. Stop being afraid of the inevitable, death. Start living and dying for a better world.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Let's All Die!





If you aren't already aware, there is speculation that the world is going to end on December 21st 2012. So save your money, you are going to miss Christmas that year.

I remember the last time the world ended, it was New Years Day, at midnight, 2000. Since that catastrophe we as a people have been able to re-build our world in a very short time. Thank God for that quick rebound.

When I wake up on December 22nd and the world hasn't ended I am not going to be happy. After two "World Endings" in a short 24 year lifespan, I am fed up. I propose the first person who perpetuates the next world ending rumor, after this one is proven to be false, is to be castrated.

Maybe not castrated, but at least sterilized.

The crash and burn mentality of this world's people is going to cause the world to crash and burn. Things are getting unnatural.

People stock piling weapons, ready to kill other people as soon as shit hits the fan. Large underground concrete apartments for "post-apocalypse living". The continuous proliferation of nuclear weapons. Without even getting into environmental issues, it seems as if we are willing the destructive end to come...and soon rather than later.

Many religious folk call onto this apocalypse, and look forward to it. Because in every holy book, the only thing that hasn't happened yet is the end, so they have been waiting over a thousand years for the Apocalypse to validate their beliefs, so I guess they are getting impatient. That's understandable.

Katrina and the Gulf Oil Spill have exposed a large weakness of America, we have a difficult time recovering from disaster. Our response is slow, our people are unable to work together, and our federal government is severely flawed internally.

It would only take one nuke to throw us into complete self-destructive chaos. The panic would overtake reason, and we would become cannibals instead of working together in order to rebuild.

Anyone claiming they know when the end is coming is full of shit. Nobody will know it's arrived until the Grim Reaper smacks us in the face, that's part of the whole production. The end could come at any instant, whether it is on the individual or global level. Nukes, sting ray, car, snake, diabetes, cancer, poison ivy in the eyes, drug overdose, plane crash, heart attack, boat accident, fork-lift accident, heavy farm equipment accident, conveyor belt accident, pork chop accident, baby pool accident, fall asleep with cigarette in hand, trampled by elephants, eaten by sharks, attacked by bees and are allergic, asphyxiation, etc. Lets face it, the odds of survival are not in our favor.

Here is an open speech to our civilization:

Look, culture that is awkwardly obsessed with destruction and every thing's death. You only live once. Here's a beer, calm down, stop talking about nuclear fallout, and poison water and Satan walking around, and BIG ANGRY GOD, and people burning alive, and then in Hell eternally. Lot of fire, It sucks I know, but I don't really know how to prepare for something on that scale, so I will just worry about it when I am at that juncture.

So yeah prepare if you want, buy guns, non-perishable food items, things of that sort, no problems with that. Stay on top of the game general public, protect your families. But to the people who pray for it on Sunday, then go out and make multi-million dollar arms deals the next...what!? What are you doing?

I don't know when the end is coming, but if these bat-shit crazy, greedy, demonic, animals have their way...it is fast approaching.

I'll just do my part and not kill someone. I also will not be a stereotypical German scientist, and develop science that can destroy the planet in an instant, then sell it off to both the highest and lowest bidders. Can't forget those goddamn German Scientists, always pissing on, and pissing off nature.

The world just ended again...at least the one you were present in 20 minutes ago. Oh, it just ended again, well not that one, but a different one you were separately present in, at a different time, it's slightly different than this one.

You see? Worrying about the end of the world is pointless.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ill Will Toward the Bill

In one week the government will come knocking on my door,
In two, the debtors will want even more.
I`ll drink away the rest of my pay,
Wrecking my liver before the debts are at bay,
Graverobbers will dig and try to invade,
They`ll find a grinning skeleton, middle finger and plague.

This is my story and though it sounds grim,
It`s the only way you can ever win,
So when they come knocking, you better make sure,
You are coughing and choking when you answer the door,
Smile and greet, with your hands dipped in lead
Cuz` the only good collector is one that is dead.