Why We Are Fucked Reason #5 You Are Scared

On 9/11 around 3,222 innocent people died including passengers on planes. To date, 4,408 U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq and Afghanistan, and this does not include the countless innocents and insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan. Over 500 billion dollars has been spent since on the war.

We have a serious problem with our economy, and our education system is failing. Since, "terror", "war", "casualties", "suicide bombing", and more "terror" have hijacked both our language and culture.

Al-Qaeda globally has only a few hundred members, yet every day for years, many in the public sit by waiting in fear of another attack, when the chances of their life being ended by a terrorist threat are extremely minimal.

On top of this, we never caught Bin Laden, and probably never will. Many believe he is being held inside Pakistan, and he is originally from (like most of the 9/11 hijackers) Saudi Arabia.

We give billions to the Saudi Royal Family, and millions if not more to Pakistan.

Dollar. Dollar. Bills. Ya`ll.

We let clandestine groups monitor our phones and computers, and let many laws get passed which limit our freedoms as a people.

I often hear the argument that this is to protect us from further attacks, and that the info is gathered not to spy on the general public.

OK, well if so, when is the expiration date on these laws? There is none, because you are a pussy and have no backbone like the majority of Americans. This country once stood for more than payback and pay-up, it had principles, documents created in order to guarantee if nothing, a free land for citizens. It takes little time to take freedom away, but can take centuries to get it back, if ever.

Read a history book, and see what government has and always will do...gets bigger. It only takes one lunatic to come in and abuse their powers to repress the people. Just think about how powers have changed in the past twenty years, and how much our federal government has expanded. There is a boogy man federal agency in every corner waiting to pounce on you for fucking up.

Federal laws on gay marriage or guns or taxes or anything. It isn't their job to meddle in any of these issues, there are 50 states that hold different people, histories, cultures, and ways of life in them...and most importantly, people who have the right to vote and affect their day to day lives.

You are scared of "terrorists", of course you are, the name has terror embedded in it. Are you scared of nuclear war? Perhaps you are scared of heart attack or being in a black neighborhood when the sun goes down? Regardless of your fear, I have some bad news for you...you are going to die, a lot sooner than you think. Everyone does. Not everyone can die peacefully, happily, and in their sleep, as a matter of fact, a pretty small percentage of people go out this way.

Man or woman up, pay attention to the fact that people are coming into this world and country after us, and the legacy we are leaving them right now is pathetic.

take a minute to reflect on these time periods and let words or stories of great people pop into your mind:

1700`s
1800`s
1900`s
2000`s

You know what popped in my head during the 2000`s?

Worthless pop culture, fat people, TV shows, NFL players breaking laws and getting away with it, and this war that has no clear definition of enemies or end. Congrats guys. Lets all read this post, then disagree, and move on to thinking when the next drink is going down, but watch out, your paper boy may be Osama Bin Laden, because he is coming for you, until he destroys you.

Or he just came for you once, because now all he has to do is sit back and watch you destroy yourselves.

President Obama: Where is My Fucking Change?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have not done anything.

We Are Fucked, Reason #4 Tommy Tough Nuts Syndrome

Our culture has recently been fixated on a particularly obscure group in the past...the tool. Now, I like violence just as much as the next person, often it`s humorous, and other times it`s just well, necessary.

I remember when college was supposed to be a place where people would come together in order to expand thoughts and ideas, but now it is becoming a place where brutal closeted bottoms, and two pump chumps take out their inner sexual frustration and addiction to sadism out on the general male public.

In a recent survey I just made up, 4 out of 10 males between the ages of 18-23 think they are MMA fighters. It`s one thing to enjoy MMA as a sport, but its another to go around mean mugging everyone at a bar because you are on roids and haven't been laid in a long time. And if you are training, feel free to keep it to yourself or at least structure the conversation in a way that isn`t trying to prove to me you are tough or intimidating.

So, stop wasting your money on Affliction and Tapout clothing, don`t wear Mohawks unless you do it for humor or punkish reasons, and understand that it doesn't matter how big you are, tight spandex shorts are always de-masculizing.

UFC used to be cool, when roughnecks with no weight classes beat the whiskey out of each other for numerous rounds, and won an open bar at the end of each tournament. Now it is a bunch of awkwardly tan people, who are for the most part angry that they suck at life.

Evel Knievel has a great quote that expresses my feelings on large people who walk around with the intentions of hurting others...

"God created all men.. and Winchester and Louisville Slugger made'em all equal"

So before you decide to use your "Human Weapon" on people, understand that a bullet to the forehead will still take you down, and the right lawyer will get the shooter off scott-free for self defense. That my friends is America.

Why We Are Fucked Reason #3, Attack of the Piture Box

This is a serious issue. People sit around all day and watch worthless tv shows. I`ll admit, I enjoy seeing my favorite cihldhood actors fight their drug binges on VH1 every now and then, but not enough to become a regular viewer.

MTV, AJ Hammer on CNN, VH1, E, and a mass of other channels make money from telling you about the lives of people who make more money than you. Why should anyone care about the personal life of actors? They are fake people, they put fake parts on themselves, and get paid millions to play pretend all day...and then do a shit ton of cocaine. Now that`s the American Dream.

You know what interesting people don`t do? Waste time in their lives monitoring interesting people on the T.V. They are too busy slaying super models, or riding in some distant country`s waters with beards, or jumping off cliffs with parachutes, and you thought gameshows were fun.

If the right person on a news station said "take the streets and start killing Mexicans" plenty of people would do it, and after the fad started blowing up, I bet you would too. Let us clarify, Mexicans are not all drug cartel, in fact...most of them are`nt even Mexicans.

Millions of people spend a chunk of time during the day swelling up, breaking belts, eating food that kills their bodies, and watching television that kills their brains.

Who the fuck wants to know about the world`s problems? They all just go away with the push of a button...OH damn, "True Life: I`m a Complete Teen Douchebag" is on, gotta run.

On Oil

Apart from my unending series "Why we are fucked" I will provide social commentary on other contemporary issues. Today I explore oil, it`s spilling, and the positive outcomes.

Nothing is more American than public outrage stemming from an accident where an obvious scapegoat is present. This is the perfect example, as the public and feds will attempt to financially bring down a company with probably just as much money as us, and more oil...which as a commodity is worth more than our money anyway. (see why we are fucked reason #2) This company of course, is BP.

What the college educated business savvy morons of today that control your retirment won`t tell you is that BP will not go bankrupt, and if they do, they will certainly not collapse as a corporation. They have the kind of money you can`t even comprehend.

As brokers scramble to be impatient and burn off BP stocks, the prices will drop substantially. (not oil, the stocks) Allowing a full blown meltdown on all of the news money shows. While this happens, rich people who can afford to invest in this "broken" company will buy up a shit ton of stocks, then in less than a year will return a ridiculous profit, adding to their unnecessary wealth... which they will spend in other third world countries instead of creating American jobs, pure "trickle on" economics. The upper middle class people who dump their stocks because its the "hip" thing to do will be left with shares of companies with much shorter shelf lives than BP. Have fun putting your trust fund on the shoulders of "Hot Topic".

Another thing I do not understand, the oil splooging from the depths is a tragedy, but why is the public trying to publically execute BP? The last time I checked there is a vortex of trash in the Pacific Ocean larger than the state of Texas...check out the Pacific Trash Gyre.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLrVCI4N67M&feature=related

I don`t know about you, but I recover a lot faster from being covered in something bad for me as opposed to ingesting it. But hey, the Gyre is a problem generated from public irresponsibility and lack of federal action, so we can ignore it. It isnlt like BP was like "You know what would be good for business? Blowing up an oil rig, not being able to fix it, and dumping all sorts of oil into the Gulf of Mexico."

People are outraged by BP`s CEO saying publically he wishes his life could get back to normal. This guy was probably being rich, sexing up interns, driving boats, flying planes, golfing, and gambling all kinds of money on obscure things like "how many people do you think I can fire today". Sure, his comments look bad, but you can`t fault the guy for telling the truth. Now he has makeup obsessed news anchors, angry redneck fishermen, and emotionless government officials up his ass all day. I don`t feel bad for the guy, but he was in the middle of a high class parade none of us were invited to, one most of us can`t fathom...but regardless, his parade got shit on, and nobody enjoys that. I would probably wish my life was back to normal too. What is the incentive to tell the public the truth if you get burned at the stake for it?

Its nearing two months, and the hole is not plugged. There is sure to be ecological damage for years after this, I hope something is formulated to create jobs and develope an efficient clean up strategy.

On a lighter note this helps Bush`s image a bit in my mind. Katrina and The Oil Spill haved proven that we just are not able to quickly fix large environmental disasters. To be good at something you have to practice. I have only seen New Orleans get wiped out once in my life, and I have only seen the entire Gulf of Mexico covered in oil once in my life. At the end of the day, these are just people like me and you controlling this country, how do you expect them to fix atrocities their minds can not even dream up in a game of "worst case scenario". I can only imagine getting one of those phone calls:

"President Reynard, New Orleans is gone"

"Huh? What do you mean "gone", its a pretty big place, it can`t just be gone"

"No Mr. President, a hurricane and flood wiped it out"

"Oh...Wow. Call anyone you know that has ever had anything to do with helicopters, sandbags, shop vacs, bull-dozers, building plans, boats, Dizzy Gillespie, riot control, food, shelter....oh Jesus, I don`t know, get everyone down there. There are`nt a lot of people still there right? I mean we told them to evacuate, we said "Hey New Orleans, things might get real bad here soon, so leave for a few days" they listened did`nt they?"

"No sir, most of them stayed behind to weather the storm"

"UGHHH. Do we even have enough resources to stop the flooding and rescue all of these people by the end of today?"

"No. Not a chance in Hell, there was no way to prepare for this."

"Wow, the public is going to come down hard on me for this one. Thanks a lot God, shit on my parade...really wish things would just go back to normal.

Reason "We The People" are Fucked #2

The U.S. dollar is worth.....$1 Bob.



Our monetary system is backed by nothing. We have been off the gold standard for quite sometime, so if shit hits the fan in a global economy and people are looking after numero uno...game over, thank you for playing.

It is a promise that a piece of paper is worth something, but we print at will, borrow from wherever, and let every minute of our lives be dedicated to saving up this technically worthless bill.

You used to be able to trade money for gold or silver...now you can`t. Unless you are running one of those "Cash 4 Gold" huts. Why do you think these little toad-hole businesses have been popping up all over the place? Trade in your engagement ring for less than 15% of what you paid for it, and then it`s melted down into a chunk of profit that will always be valuable, no matter what happens with government, international relations...anything.

This just looks like a house of paper (not cards) ready to fall at some point.

Rowdy Roddy the Public Piper

This will become a daily event...

Americans are soft and lazy, this country turns into more of a joke every day because the average citizen is garbage, doing nothing to improve status quo. So I will now explain why I hate most public figures, and think we are all screwed.


Reason #1: Nobody has manned up and taken out Governor Rod Blagojevich.



Our court system is slower and slightly more efficient than our legislative branch. Rowdy Rod will get off with a slap on the hand (if that) and he knows it. He smiles into cameras and knows he is publically butt-fucking American laws and people. Instead of being killed, like he would in most great societies of history (via execution or angry knife wielding citizen)....he was put on a reality tv show.